- "That's women's work."
- Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
- "Will you marry me?"
- Really means.... "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
- "You know how bad my memory is."
- Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
- "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
- Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
- "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
- Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
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- "I do help around the house."
- Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
- "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
- Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
- "I can't find it."
- Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
- "What did I do this time?"
- Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
- "She's one of those rabid feminists."
- Really means...."She refused to make my coffee."
- "I heard you."
- Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
- "You know I could never love anyone else."
- Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
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- "You look terrific."
- Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
- "I brought you a present."
- Really means.... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."
- "I missed you."
- Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
- "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
- Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
- "We share the housework."
- Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
- "This relationship is getting too serious."
- Really means.... "I like you more than my LBC, gulp!"
- "I don't need to read the instructions."
- Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
- "I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
- Really means.... "If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."
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