BENEFITS OF GROWING OLDER AND RETIRING....
ª In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
ª It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
ª Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
ª No one expects you to run into a burning building.
ª People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
ª People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
ª There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
ª Things you buy now won't wear out.
ª You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
ª You can eat dinner at 4:00
ª You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
ª You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
ª You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
ª You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
ª You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
ª You got cable for the weather channel.
ª You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
ª You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
ª You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
ª You sing along with the elevator music.
ª Your ears are hairier than your head.
ª Your eyes won't get much worse.
ª Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
ª Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
ª Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
ª Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
All photos of the Tulip Time Trip are courtesy of Susan Marshall.
Shaw's Garage | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Archives
©2000 FWAHC & MLCDesign/TechnoMOM