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FWAHC Newsletter
March 2000
PAGE 3

  • You listen to the weather forecast before choosing what to wear.
  • You are walking knee deep in snow the day after a day with an 80-degree high temperature.
  • You know that cow pies are not made of beef.
  • Your excuse for being late is the cows got out.
  • Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and Frank Solich.
  • You want to buy manure.
  • You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
  • Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
  • You can tell the difference between field corn and sweet corn while they are still on the stalk.
  • You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
  • You check the football schedule before setting your wedding date.
  • You can eat an ear of corn without using any utensils in less than 20 seconds.
  • You wear your irrigation boots to church.
  • You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays (Before the Sunday drivers come out.)
  • It takes you 3 minutes to reach your destination and it is clear across town.
  • You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot.
  • You consider a building to be a "Mall" if it is bigger than the local Pamida.
  • You call lunch "dinner" and dinner "supper."
  • You complain about interstate construction.
  • You expect to get a good 10-oz. steak at the local tavern for 5 bucks.

The Race Report

The soon to be annual Nigel Shiftright Memorial Road Race is in the books. We had 13 intrepid drivers, including some guy named "Mustang" and missing some guy named Shaw who had a back problem. We will publish the total results at a later date, but be informed the fastest lap times went to Steve Espelund, Don Petrick, Bob Bredwell, and Martha Johnson in order with Steve being fastest. The only casualty was John Ulrich who received a couple of badly bruised ribs after spinning and getting collected.

There was a trend with the smaller drivers being faster while the larger persons in the group appeared to have drawn the slower cars. Then again, one driver, who is quoted anonymously, replied "I thought my kart was the slowest one out there. But in this race it is outrunning every other car on the track. Couldn't have been the driver, could it?" We are certain that this event was one of the most fun we have had in a while. It has become an annual event.

THANK YOU MOSS MOTORS

Once again this year, Moss Motors has been quite generous with their support of the Flatwater Austin Healey All British Show. Moss is also known for the quality of their parts as well as the quality of their service. Please consider this when next you need parts.


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