FWAHC Newsletter

September 2000

PAGE 2

entrants. And afterwards all of us invade some local eatery like a horde of locusts. See you there.

In closing, I have a couple of things to say. First, Flatwater and Her Majesty's now have a 14' dual-axle car trailer for your use. Jerry Needham made the inaugural run with it to K.C. Two of the tires will never go flat because he filled them with fix-a-flat. A coat of paint covers a multitude of sin so I'll have it painted red and spruced up shortly. Call if you wish to borrow it. Secondly, if you have any ideas or suggestions for events next year, write them down. The Christmas Party and Planning meeting are just around the corner.

Phone Solicitors

What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you credit cards, vacation packages, etc.:

• The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn't released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?
• What's that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I'm afraid we're just not communicating.
• I'm gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don't go away.
• Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone number...

Tidbits

• The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

• Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
• American car horns beep in the tone of F.
• No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
• Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
• 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
• You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

A Mini Vacation

By Marty & Marilyn

On July 7th, Marty and I flew to Pendleton, Oregon to drive home a newly imported Mini Cooper. Our plan was to take our time to enjoy the sights along the way and break the car in at the same time. Although it made me nervous to drive in a new car through the mountains and several states, I decided to relax and enjoy the adventure.

A Bad Omen?

The first doubts came when I noticed Marty taking clothing out of my suitcase and replacing it with TOOLS! I watched long enough to see a socket set, WD40, a hammer and a roll of mechanic's wire where socks and underwear used to be and decided not to watch any longer. Here we go...

Well, not quite. Stopping for gas on the way to the airport, Marty's trusty and very necessary credit card didn't work! It worked perfectly

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